Oh, hey there negativity. Can’t say I’m pleased to see you again.
You know what’s cool? When you aren’t around and I never even notice that you’re gone. I really don’t miss you at all, but then you just show back up at some of the worst possible times and, though I want to be strong and shut you out, sometimes I let you back in.
I know that you think you’re being useful. I guess you assume that you’re probably protecting me, when you tell me that I shouldn’t try that, shouldn’t believe in myself too much, and shouldn’t take the risk.
You hold me back a lot, and things tend to go really well for me when I don’t take your advice. It would be great if I could find a place to leave you and be sure that you were in good hands, so that I could go do exciting things like traveling alone, telling that person how I really feel, or trying out something completely new, unafraid of the haters and negative comments.
Sometimes it’s easy to shut you out, and sometimes it’s really not. I know that I am the one to blame here because I haven’t figured out how to ditch you completely. You are a creature of habit and I know that.
I seem to remember a time when I felt more brave, when you weren’t around very much. And I think that, for sure in the future, I’ll find a way to get rid of you completely.
But it’s right now that we need to talk about, you have seriously overstayed you’re welcome this time.
Don’t you know it’s rude to interrupt someone who is in the middle of something? You always come by when I’m busy. I usually fail at keeping you out, but I have a few tricks up my sleeve this time that I bet you didn’t see coming.
Next time you speak up I’m going to tell you exactly why you’re wrong and why I’m right. Even though sometimes I worry that you are right. I’m just going to trust that your criticism isn’t constructive and that I have to make my own decisions.
I’ll let you stay, because in the end I know that I can’t force you to go, but instead of being mad that you’re there, I’ll let you propel me forward, just because it’s so nice to prove you wrong.
Each time you get loud, I’ll meditate, because there’s nothing that makes you feel more powerless and tiny than when I clear my mind.
I’ll focus on doing things that bring me to the present moment, because even when you’re around, if I’m enjoying myself, I don’t notice you.
It’s not you, it’s me. Well actually, it is you, negativity.
You might be here to stay, but you definitely don’t have to call all the shots.
Sue Thomas says
Travelled alone once from Bologna to Belgrade w/a layover in Prague! Fantastic! It was my 62nd Birthday & I thought “I owe it to myself”! This decision was made while walking in town & impulsively turned to my left directly into a travel agency despite not speaking Italian! The entire 3day trip was grande: men helping w/my luggage; an evening in old town serenaded by musicians; young adults eager to hear about US…even met a friends daughter backpackg thru Eur w/a girlfriend! Never regret just try!
I began my first trip alone to NYC on a weekend travel agency deal & told myself if I survived that so easily I can do it in Europe! Enjoy!
Ijana says
Yes, this!!! Isn’t it so annoying how those little negative voices in our heads can convince us we need to be afraid of doing everything? Good luck with shutting those SoBs down cause I want you to do lots more adventures!
Jasmin - Switzerland says
Just what I needed right now! I love how you talk about those things.
Sometimes I have some real struggles too with my negative voices inside me and it seems a never ending story to shut them out. But then, suddenly, a good thing happens and it becomes so easy to ignore the voices.
So, what I probably trying to say is: Keep proving your negativity wrong and enjoy the nice things in life.
Kristin says
Good to know I’m not alone! And thanks for the encouragement
Catherine - LA says
Thank you for this article. It’s helpful and soothing to know that you have to deal with these emotional things even when you are living a wonderful and free life.
Kristin says
I think that it’s human nature to always think that once you have a certain thing, everything will be wonderful and you won’t have negative thoughts or any needs anymore, and it just never works that way. Keeps things interesting, though!
Box Canyon Mark says
Well done! I named my negativity “Artie.” The little imp sits on my shoulder and whispers criticisms in my ear be it painting, writing, or music. I have to tell him to fuck off once in a while.
Box Canyon Mark
David Rainey says
Funny thing. While reading your article my negativity was no where to be found. Thanks for the respite and tips.
Kristin says
Awwww thank you <3
Eva says
Hi Kristin, I like this letter so much. I’ve lost to my inner negativity countless of time and I want to keep fighting it until I don’t see it anymore.
Kristin says
Yeah same here. I find it also helps to think about the things that I’m really lucky to have. Practicing gratitude always makes me feel so much better!
Melissa says
This is such a lovely post – it can be difficult to keep those niggling thoughts out of your head and I try hard to ensure I stay as positive and open-minded as possible these days – it’s just not worth the stress! 🙂 Xx