I still remember exactly how it felt as I sat there at my computer six years ago, looking at flights to Bangkok for the hundredth time, hesitating just as I had so many times before.
I was scared of the unknowns. Would I be safe? Would I be lonely? Would I be able to travel alone? Did I have what it takes?
Something in me finally said, “do it,” so I bought the ticket and felt the rush of adrenaline that I’d been holding back course through me. I’d be going to the other side of the world alone, and I was terrified.
A few months later I laughed at myself. I was having so much fun, on cloud nine and meeting new people all the time. I wished so much that I’d had less fear and more trust in myself and the world. Since then I’ve traveled alone to every continent and learned a lot along the way. These are 25 of the things I wish I knew before I decided to travel solo:
1. There’s no big difference between those who travel alone and those who wish they could. The differentiator is the decision to just do it.
2. There may never be a moment when you feel 100% ready to do it. At some point you’ve got to just leap.
3. Walking with one’s head up and speaking with confidence goes an incredibly long way.
4. And it keeps getting easier with each passing day.
5. A smile and friendly demeanor go so incredibly far. Farther than I ever imagined. So many doors open when you’re nice.
6. People take more interest in helping women and keeping us safe especially when we’re alone.
7. Of course there are bad people everywhere in the world, but there are a lot more good people.
8. Things will go wrong and you’ll look back on them with a smile and remember them fondly anyway.
9. When you leave the places that tested you the most, you might find that you actually miss the chaos.
10. Eventually things that are confusing at first like ATMs and taxis will become obvious, sleeping under a mosquito net will become comfortable, and you’ll meet concepts like ‘Africa time’ with a shrug and smile. Solo travelers level up in knowledge and skills quickly.
11. Whether you make room for it or not, whether you anticipate it or have no clue, serendipity will work its way into your plans in the cleverest ways.
12. Plans are just ideas that evolve for the better anyways. It’s best to just go with it.
13. The goal is not to escape our problems, but rather to replace the old ones with newer, better ones.
14. You will face your demons on the road too and if you let yourself, you’ll find ways to grow and move onwards and upwards.
15. Best make peace with eating foods with no discernible name and sweating more than usual. It’s worth it.
16. There will be a marked increase in the number of hellos, and also in the number of goodbyes.
17. The best thing you can be as a traveler is a good listener.
18. It’s not about moving quickly through to collect more flags or increase the country count. It’s about getting to know a place so deeply, to make connections so profound, that each place takes a little piece of you and gives a piece back in return.
19. No expectations will set you up for perpetual moments of delight.
20. High expectations only leave room for them to be met or worse, not.
21. Being off the grid, having internet that is too slow to load anything, and disconnecting entirely from time to time is a precious gift to be savored.
22. The fewer people ‘get’ our lifestyle choices the better we’re doing.
23. The end goal does not have to be settling down. It can be making great art, becoming our own bosses, and charting our own course in the spotless future.
24. Not reading the news, forgetting where your shoes are because you’ve been barefoot for so long, and spending most of your time in a hammock is bliss.
25. It will be a gift to and even a responsibility to show the world by example that women are strong and capable on our own. I have that opportunity and I will embrace it.
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crystal says
Great post! I absolutely agree that people look out for solo travelers. I’ve always found this to be true whereever I stop to eat or visit. People are interested, and always willing to share. Loved your acknwoledgement of how listening is the best during travels. I’ve also learned so much. Great post
Kristin says
Yes I really feel that being solo causes people to want to look out for me, and I learn so much too when I shut up and listen.
Ami Lutz says
“Africa time”, love it! I went to Zanzibar in July 2018 and returned again in Nov 2018. Absolutely love the culture, locals and especially “Africa Time”!
I crack up about all the things I worried about before I left for my year of solo travel back in June 2018. I have evolved and grown with confidence in leaps and bounds. Now I am comfortable with being the first to flash a friendly smile! It really goes a long way, and might even brighten someone’s day!
Kristin says
I love that! It moves mountains being the outwardly friendly one. Sets the tone in the best way.
Queenie says
I love this post! I feel like most women hesitate to travel solo because of safety. There are things we can do to keep ourselves safe. As you said, there are more good people out there than bad people. I’ve met many amazing people on the road and have never really felt any type of danger. Thanks for sharing the post!
Kristin says
I feel that way too! I honestly don’t feel unsafe very often at all, certainly not more than I do at home.
Kirstin says
What a great post and just enough enthusiasm to kick me up the butt to do it!
Tasmia Tarannum says
Hello Kristin,
Like many travelers, I used to never go anywhere alone, but after a few eye-opening, life-changing experiences, I’m hooked on solo travel. And as you said in your post “The best thing you can be as a traveler is a good listener.” I can truly relate to that. On my traveling days, I always tried to figure out what other people are talking and that was an amazing feeling to listen to the unknown crowd. Must mention, I am a big-time fan of your writing. Thank you for guiding so many travelers throughout this time.
Lady says
Great Article!!! This article reminds me of the lessons I’ve learned during my solo travels. (Of course if you have an article about the lessons you’ve learned I would love to read it) one of my lessons I’ve learned traveling is to honor the gratitude of the solitude. It is just me and then again it is not just me at the same time. Here I am traveling solo but there are so many people, places and things I have yet to see when I land in the new place that I never feel like I’m alone.
Kristin says
I got you 😉 https://www.bemytravelmuse.com/solo-traveling-stories/